My girlfriend Raynah went to Provincetown on the Cape last weekend and got to play in the water and on the beaches. I didn't go, but I would have really fit in the way I prance around (that's a gay joke!).

 
Raynah in her life jacket. I did NOT approve that fashion choice.

Raynah and another one of our friends, Tent, relaxing in the sand. Too dirty for me, personally.

Some time on the boat...

 
How girly can you get?

Raynah-dog!

...And it's NICE!

My people got my show schedule for Shakespeare's "A Comedy Of Errors" which will run on the Boston Common this summer from July 31 until August 16. I, of course, will be the lead dog on opening night. An estimated 75,000 people will come out to see the show over the course of the next couple of weeks, so I should be a very famous dog by the end of the month. I'm very excited! And by that, of course, I mean my people are very excited. Here's my schedule:

Friday, July 31 8:00 PM (Opening night)
Saturday, August 1 3:30 PM
Sunday, August 9 1:00 PM

Come on out and see me. Tickets are free and all the information you need is at The Commonwealth Shakespeare Company. For those of you out of town, if there aren't any issues with media rights, I'll post a couple of short video clips on my website after my performance so you can see me too.

Now... Where's my Shakespeare hat?

Usually I just lay down and go to sleep, but as soon as Angela left me after our walk this afternoon, I decided to go exploring. And I hit the JACKPOT!!!

See for yourself!

One thing you hear a lot about with greyhounds that are retired racers is "Separation Anxiety." For those of you who aren't familiar with that, it's basically when a dog gets attached to their owners and then freak out when they are left alone. Typically, owners try to start with just leaving for a few minutes at a time and work up to being gone longer and longer so that the dog knows that the people are always coming back.

Trust me, guys, they always do... And they always wake you up. You should be enjoying your alone time.

I never really had a problem with the people leaving. At first, I would always hope that they would take me with them, but over time I've gotten to the point where I'm not too concerned when my people leave me. In fact, yesterday the people were going out to do some shopping and run some errands. They tucked me in under a blanket because either a) they thought it would be comfy for me and I'd enjoy it or b) they think I'm their little puppet and they can do whatever they want to me.

It was nice to get some alone time. You can tell I wasn't so concerned with them leaving. When they came back, nearly an hour later and walked upstairs, here's all the greeting I cared to muster.

Yeah, I'm very mobile.

We all love to do it, who wouldn't? Butts are fantastic. I don't even care if it's a dog, a person, or even a mouse (yes, a mouse, but just once when I was experimenting after racing). You can't just go right in like a maniac. You're not going to win any friends that way. You have to start politely, and then see where it goes from there.

The Technique 

Just remember these few points and you'll be fine.

1) First of all, the most important thing to keep in mind, is make sure the owner of the butt you're interested knows you're there. I like to do a quick little circle around the whole dog (usually) to make sure everyone is aware that I'm here, and that I have intentions of getting to know you.

2) A quick look in the eye says "You can trust me." Don't be afraid to make eye contact. Heck, I even winked once.

3) Standing up, go sniff that butt; Sitting down, leave it on the ground. I like a good butt-sniff as much as the next dog, but it's just not worth getting dirty over. There are always other opportunities. Be patient. Dirt in your nose is WAY not fun... and then there always the chance that the butt is currently "in use." Just play it safe.

4) Work front to back. Start with the nose, make your way to the tail. You don't have dessert before dinner, do you?

5) Don't be selfish. It's fine to do your share of sniffing, but make yourself available too. In fact, go the extra mile. Since I'm so tall, I like to lean down a little bit sometimes for the smaller dogs to see what a real role model smells like.

Sticky Situations

We hate to admit it, but sometimes we accidently come upon some substance that we probably wish we hadn't gotten into. Fortunately, though, I have a tip for those of you who have this problem in the future. Since the people are much better at cleaning us than we are, make sure they notice the foreign substance. The best way I've found to get them to notice is to rub your head (or other infected area) on the carpets and furniture. You're sure to get cleaned ASAP!

...Hug a couch!

Since our old leather couch got a tear in the leather, some smelly people brought us all new furniture to our house on Friday morning. At first I was excited, because there were new people in the house to play with. Then, I was sad because they were taking the couches and chairs I liked to sleep on while the people are gone. Then, I was excited because they brought brand new couches and chairs!

This weekend, the people kept telling me about how I wasn't allowed on this leather, because it was "nicer than the other couch." I kept asking to try it out and they kept telling me to go to jail. Ugh. Finally, in a rush to get to Capital Grillle on Saturday night because they were starving, they forgot to put stuff on the couch, and I made it my own. I must say, they were right. The leather is so much softer and smoother than the old couch was. I really enjoyed it. Of course, they could tell exactly where I had been when they got home because it was all warm and hair. I got like a 5 minute lecture as soon as they got home and, of course, they threw in the fact that I don't really add anything to society, and that I don't have a right to anything, much less nice furniture. They kept telling me to get a job.

I don't have thumbs, people! I don't have thumbs.